Here Is a List of Games I Will Not Be Buying This Tuesday:

1. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2


2. Lots of other games

Now, number two is obviously a given, but why, you might ask, am I not buying what is likely to be the best-selling, critically-acclaimed game of the year? Is it because I am mad that there are no dedicated servers on the PC version? Last I checked I'm not not a douchebag, so that's not it. Am I boycotting it because of that leaked video where you play as a terrorist and kill innocent civilians? No, but I do have some thoughts on that, but we'll get to that. The real reason I'm letting this game pass me by is because of Uncharted 2.

When the first Modern Warfare came out, I thought it was the bee's tits (which is to say, I thought it was good). It was like being in a summer blockbuster whose budget was approximately all the money in the world, and you were the reliable mute buddy of the hero of the movie. Every single scene in that game could have been the big crazy climax of the biggest, craziest Michael Bay movie.

But therein lies the problem. If every second of the game is climax, then there's no pacing to it. You spend the entire game brutally charging forward, and when you reach the end of the game, it just stops. You can't even call it anticlimactic; it's everything BUT anticlimactic.

Uncharted 2 is similarly based on a big action movie that has been financed by God, but it introduces the concept of pacing. Hot damn is that game well paced. It follows this basic pattern of a few light gun fights, gradually increasing in scale, until you approach an epic set piece, kick its ass, and then there's some nice relaxing platforming or puzzle solving while you reflect on how awesome you are. It's these quiet moments that really drive home the sense of accomplishment. In Modern Warfare, you can't really enjoy the fact that you just blew the shit out of everyone with an AC-130 because it's 30 seconds later and you're already running down a street dodging rocket fire. It says a lot that the calmest section of the game is the part where a nuclear bomb goes off.

Another thing that sets Uncharted 2 apart is the fact that you're actually the wise-cracking badass hero of the game, rather than the retarded freak who's following him around. Captain Price is obviously the hero of that game, as he's the only person with any characterization at all, and he's the one who gets to do all the cool stuff. As Nathan Drake you get to jump out of moving trains and kick people to sleep, all while spouting cool one-liners (such as, "I'll kick you to sleep."). In Modern Warfare, the only meaningful way you can interact with anything it to put bullets into it.

Oh, and there's also the fact that Uncharted is an Indiana Jones movie (not Crystal Skull, one of the good ones), which automatically trumps the Michael Bay vibe of the Modern Warfare games in terms of style. Amazing action with deep characterization is just better than anonymous explosions.

It's actually kind of a shame these games came out so close together. If Modern Warfare were coming out in, say March, I might have been interested in it. But coming just one month after Uncharted, I'm having trouble getting it up for the similar but inferior game.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the terrorist thing. Ok, so if you didn't know about this, there's a scene in the game where you apparently play as a terrorist, going through an airport killing hundreds of innocent civilians. This has upset a fair amount of people, and unleashed a low-level PR shitstorm at Infinity Ward, the game's developer. Now, I see where they were going with this, it's like that scene in a movie where you see the villain do something really villainous and terrible, and that increases your desire to see them taken down. But the problem is, that doesn't really work in a game. In the movie you're just watching the terrible thing go on, but in the game you're actively making it happen. I know that playing that part of the game won't make me go, "these guys are fucking horrible, my passion for defeating them is renewed!" It'll probably be more like, "I'm not enjoying this, I'm going to turn off the game and listen to Bob Dylan for a while."

Even worse was what came out after the story broke. The developers revealed that the before the sequence happens, a message comes up warning about the upcoming content, and offering the chance to skip the section. Bullshit. Even though this idea turns me off, I respect their prerogative as artists to include it. But pussing out like this completely ruins it for me. This is not doing the respectability of the medium any favors. True art is not optional. When you watch the Godfather, you're not offered the option to skip the horse head scene. On the other hand, if the scene is skip-able because the developers don't feel the scene is absolutely necessary, then it shouldn't be in there at all.

Another rationalization they offered is that in this scene you are in fact not an evil baby-killing terrorist, but rather an undercover agent infiltrating an evil baby-killing terrorist organization. Something was said about tough decisions in the name of the greater good, but once again: bullshit. As far as I can tell the only choice you're offered is to either take part in the mass murder, or stand by and allow it to happen. That's not a choice. "Oh gee, should I kill and eat this puppy, or just stab out both its eyes and kick it down the stairs? Which is the moral thing to do?" And I doubt either option has any real effect on how the game progresses.

The thing that really annoys me is that they could have done the exact same scene, but had you play as a civilian rather than one of the murderers. Then the scene would have exactly the desired effect of horrifying you and filling you with righteous fury. But I guess they don't want to do that because they feel it would be too similar to something they did in the first game. As it stands, the only emotion it evokes is slight disgust. Which is not ideal.

Before this came out, I might have considered picking the game up sometime around next summer, or whenever they knocked a few bucks off the price. But at this point I think I just don't care anymore. Of course, not like that's going to stop the game from selling millions of copies.

Whatever. I think I'll go play through Uncharted 2 again.