Mini-Review: Birds

Birds. What the fuck is up with birds? Why would you want a bird? You could get the same effect as owning a bird by sticking a bunch of feathers glued together into a cage, and opening a squeaky cabinet every ten minutes while you watch TV. They've got all the personality of a bag of potatoes, assuming said bag possessed a horrible beak and lashed out at anyone who came near it. What are you even going to do with a bird? What the hell is wrong with you? Also, I hear birds turn you queer.

The Case For Birds

The Case Against Birds



1. They're ugly.


2. They're hateful.


3. Bag of potatoes with awful tearing beak.


4. Will make you the gay.

OBJECTION!