JEREMY sits on an ornate throne atop a pile of jewels, overlooking the Sex Palace. He sighs as he sips his brandy, while below all kinds of rude action takes place. Above him, the universe continually tears itself apart, reforming again after a short while. Next to him, a PORTER stands ready to serve him.
JEREMY
(to no one in particular)
I think I have grown tired of this place. Perhaps it is best that I move on.
PORTER
Are you certain, sir? You know you can stay here as long as you like. I assure you, once you return to your home it will be as if no time at all has passed. You could even stay here forever, if you so desire.
JEREMY
I fear for my sanity, should I stay much longer. Besides, there is work for me to do.
PORTER
If I can do nothing to dissuade you, then I have no choice but to honor your wish.
JEREMY
You can do nothing.
PORTER
Then my duty is complete, save for this: a warning, for your protection. The way back is not as simple as the one you followed here. Take heed, for many a brave man has lost his way, and cursed himself to drift forever upon the River of Souls. I pray this fate does not befall you, young master.
JEREMY
As long as I have my wits, they shall carry the day.
PORTER
We shall see, sir, we shall see. May fortune smile upon you, and you once again behold the passage of time.
Jeremy stands, placing his brandy on the armrest of the sex throne. Carefully making his way down the jewel pile, he nudges his way through the throng of intercourse, and toward the darkest corner of the palace. As he walks, there appears...
INT. PATH OF LIGHT - THE FIRST SECOND AFTER THE END OF TIME
He walks shrouded in total darkness, only the path of light is visible. He stops for a moment.
JEREMY
At last, I begin.
He walks.
He walks for a very long time.
FADE TO:
INT. PATH OF LIGHT - STILL THE FIRST SECOND AFTER THE END OF TIME, THOUGH CLEARLY MUCH LATERHe is still walking.
JEREMY
I am STILL walking.
His pace slows now, as his walk melts into an exhausted stagger. He stops to catch his breath.
He realizes with a start that the path ahead of him is beginning to melt away. He lunges forward and runs as fast as he can. All he can here is the roar of his breath and the blood rushing through his ears. He runs, and he runs, and he FUCKING RUNS.
Without warning, the path slips away beneath his feet, and he falls. Possibly forever.
FADE TO:
EXT. TREE OF LIFE - DAY?
Jeremy awakes to find himself in a meadow. There is nothing around for as far as he can see. The only thing in the meadow is the a small gnarled tree, and in front of it, and old man chiseling away at some STONE TABLETS. He is the SCRIVENER.
JEREMY
Excuse me, old man, do you know where I am?
SCRIVENER
Hm? Where you are? Oh, it's hard to say for sure. But I can say with complete certainty where you aren't, and that's right here.
JEREMY
I beg your pardon?
SCRIVENER
This place, young man. This is the one place you most definitely cannot be.
JEREMY
I can say with relative certainty that here, wherever here is, is precisely where I am.
SCRIVENER
Impossible. Nobody ever comes here. You're somebody, ain't ya?
JEREMY
Yes, that much should be obvious.
SCRIVENER
Indeed it is. So you're not here, simple as that.
JEREMY
But, by the same token, should it not be obvious that I, a person, am standing before you at this very moment, in this very place?
The scrivener eyes him with some suspicion, then nods sagely.
SCRIVENER
I suppose so. Very well, despite everything I know to be true, you do seem to be here.
JEREMY
Well, now that that's settled, where am I?
SCRIVENER
Are you daft, boy? You've just answered your own question. You're here.
JEREMY
Yes, I know that. What I'm wondering is where exactly here is?
SCRIVENER
Ah. Well, that depends.
JEREMY
(laughing)
It depends? What, pray tell, does it depend on?
The scrivener gives Jeremy an icy stare, until at last the smile disappears from his face.
JEREMY (CONT'D)
Really now, old man, you've had your fun. Now be straight with me. Where am I?
SCRIVENER
Like I said, it depends. This place, it isn't a fixed point. In fact, it's not a point at all. It's somewhat of the opposite, if you can imagine that. Picture a single place, a single moment, if you will, stretched over all of creation. Or picture all of existence perched upon the point of a pin. It's not quite like either of those things, but it's the closest way I can think of putting it. This place is no place, and it is every place. So, to know where you are, need to know where you are coming from, and where you are going. With that information, perhaps you can find yourself, and maybe you can leave this place.
JEREMY
I don't quite understand, but I think I've got the idea. I come from the Sex Palace, and I wish to go home.
SCRIVENER
Ha! I should have known to look at you, boy. Tell me, do you think yourself some kind of hero?
JEREMY
No, I've never considered myself as such.
SCRIVENER
Really. That is interesting; few find themselves in your place without some kind of noble intentions, or pretensions, as it were. Are you sure you are not a glory seeker, young'un?
JEREMY
What? No! My patience with you grows thin, old man.
SCRIVENER
Come now, there is no need to hide yourself here. In addition to the other two things, you must also know yourself to find the road ahead.
JEREMY
It wasn't selfishness! I had to come. Vanessa--
SCRIVENER
(surprised)
Hold a minute, boy. What is your name?
JEREMY
It's Jeremy. Jeremy Clarke.
SCRIVENER
Excuse me for a moment, Jeremy.
The scrivener turns, and searches through his pile of tablets. He picks one up and looks over it. His expression lowers.
SCRIVENER (CONT'D)
I see. I'm sorry to have doubted you, Jeremy.
JEREMY
What was written on that tablet?
SCRIVENER
Tell me, did you find what you were searching for?
Jeremy lowers his head.
JEREMY
No.
SCRIVENER
I'm sorry.
JEREMY
Yes, well. Will you help me now?
SCRIVENER
I will do all that I can. Unfortunately, now that I know what I know, I cannot tell you where to go.
JEREMY
What? You son of a bitch, you told me you would help me!
SCRIVENER
I will, but you must be patient.
JEREMY
I have been patient. Do you know what I've been through to get here?
SCRIVENER
I do. And I know you must face further challenges still. And though I could help you avoid those challenges, I must not. I dare not.
JEREMY
You speak as though you know my future.
SCRIVENER
I do. It is written in stone.
He indicates the tablets.
JEREMY
My destiny is written on those tablets? Let me see!
(he picks one up)
I can't make this out! What language is this?
SCRIVENER
It is not language. It is simply... a record.
JEREMY
A record?
SCRIVENER
Of all of time and eternity. Everything that has been, or shall ever be, is recorded on those tablets.
JEREMY
You mean... everything? As in all of history?
SCRIVENER
Yes, and far beyond.
JEREMY
All of creation... is on THESE tablets?
He indicates the tablets. There are only a few more than a dozen.
SCRIVENER
As I said, they are not written in language. The symbols you see are very dense, infinitely dense in fact. Your entire life, along with billions of others, is recorded right here.
He points to a tiny symbol, almost indistinguishable in the mess.
JEREMY
Curious, how amongst all these lives you were able to recognize mine.
SCRIVENER
I am well practiced at reading the tablets.
JEREMY
No, it goes beyond that. Before you even consulted the tablets, you seemed as if you knew me. It seemed as though once you figured out who I was, you suddenly began to take an interest in me, where before you were aloof. Tell me, old man, were you expecting me?
SCRIVENER
Enough, it is time for you to go.
JEREMY
Aha! So you were. And why is that? What do you know of my destiny, what is so important about my life?
SCRIVENER
Fine! I will tell you which way to go. Begin at the tree, and face your shadow--
JEREMY
Perhaps I won't go. Perhaps I'll just take this chisel and end my wretched life.
He picks up the chisel, and holds it against his temple.
SCRIVENER
Please, Jeremy, I beg you. Do not do this!
JEREMY
Then tell me!
SCRIVENER
I'm sorry.
JEREMY
Not nearly as sorry as you're going to be.
SCRIVENER
No, I'm sorry for this.
In a heartbeat, the sky turns to black, and every single blade of grass loses its hold on the ground. Jeremy once again finds himself falling into the void. We hear a splash.
CUT TO:
INT. RIVER OF SOULS - ETERNITY
Jeremy falls into the river, flailing and splashing. He drives his way up to the surface and breaks through, gasping for air. His relief is short-lived, for he is immediately pulled back down into the water.
He thrashes against the thing pulling him down, while large gray shapes float past him. He kicks, again and again, but to no effect.
Suddenly, a bony white hand grabs him by the arm. He twists out of its grip, finally bringing him face to face with the horrific entity.
Its features are human, but its appearance is ghastly. They are gray-skinned and emaciated, with most of their bones visible through their skin. All are completely hairless. Around the eyes and nose and anywhere the skin is broken, an greenish gray liquid oozes out. Their eyes are the same milky gray as their skin, and their mouths are completely black, inside and out.
The one that has grabbed Jeremy convulses in pain as Jeremy twists its wrist in his escape. Quickly realizing this, Jeremy reaches out and claws at its eyes. Its eyes burst into sludge, and it clutches its face, sinking to the bottom. The display causes the creatures below him to loosen their grip, and Jeremy breaks free, swimming as fast as he can, the monsters chasing him closely.
He breaks the surface again, but instead of stopping for breath he pushes forward as fast as he can, blindly hoping that he's heading toward some kind of shore.
He pushes forward, but is now starting to slow. He is running out of breath. Several of the creatures leap on top of him, and begin to drag him down.
He stops struggling, resigned to his fate.
Suddenly, a hand appears just above him, reaching down to him. It is not the bloodless hand of the creatures, it is pink and healthy. Jerome grabs onto it, and it pulls him up and out of the water.
INT. SHORE OF THE DAMNED - CONTINUOUS
The hand pulls Jeremy onto the shore, where he coughs and sputters for a moment. He looks up to see his rescuer, a dour-looking man, in a black cloak holding a scythe. He is DEATH.
DEATH
I... am Death.
Jeremy takes a moment to take all of this in.
JEREMY
Really?
DEATH
No, not really.
Suddenly, Death's demeanor changes completely. He becomes cheerful and manic, and more than a little eccentric.
DEATH (CONT'D)
I mean, they call me that, sure. Gotta call a fellow something, I suppose. I guess I do look the part, what with this fucking thing, eh? I don't even know why I have it to be honest. Yes, yes, it's my name, too, I should mention I suppose. Though that whole process, ugh, gives me the willies, it does. Why they'd want to name such a thing after me, I have no idea. Hehe, corn spouts, after all, know what I mean?
JEREMY
Er, no. I'm afraid I don't.
DEATH
Oh, well you know, it's jealousy. Jealousy, yeah. That's why they done it. After that whole moon cat debacle, and all that. Now, can I fetch you some tea?
Jeremy looks around, it is blackness as far as the eye can see.
JEREMY
Um, no thanks. So you're Death and that--
(points to the river)
--I take it is the River of Souls.
DEATH
Oh yeah, the river. The river, that's where most of them end up, they get stuck in there, and forget they was people. Now they're nothing but kite strings.
JEREMY
Those are people in there?
DEATH
People who forgot how to be people. Now all they do is make others like them. It's all they remember. The fork, no, um, what is it? River! The river, it turns you. Into that.
JEREMY
My God.
DEATH
Oh yes, don't expect to see him around much anymore.
JEREMY
Wait a minute, are you saying that God exists?
DEATH
God? Who said anything about God? I'm just watching the leaderboards.
(singing)
"Brother can you spare an antidote?"
JEREMY
Right, so I'm not looking forward to going through this again, but can you tell me how to get out of here?
DEATH
"Brother can you give me your--"
(he stops singing)
Oh, no. No no no no no. You can't get out. If there was a way out, don't you think I'd have found it? It's nothing but marzipan in every direction.
JEREMY
How helpful. Well, if you think of anything, I'll just be heading off in this--
DEATH
Hey, you're the guy, right?
JEREMY
Excuse me?
DEATH
You know, the guy, the guy with the stuff. The one they've all been talking about.
JEREMY
Who? Who's been talking?
DEATH
Don't play dumb, you know what it is. It's... it's damned complicated, is what it is. We've been trying to make sense of it.
JEREMY
We?
DEATH
We. You know you, me, and the guys. We few. We happy few.
JEREMY
Well, it's been nice chatting with you.
DEATH
Oh it has, believe me, the pleasure is all ours. So long, Mr. Special Destiny.
JEREMY
What did you just call me?
DEATH
You're the one, the one who changes the world.
JEREMY
How? How do I change the world?
DEATH
Hey, I don't get bogged down in details. Big picture, big picture. If the pants fit, you gotta return them. NO! Don't return them!
Beat.
DEATH (CONT'D)
Too bad you ended up here.
JEREMY
What do you mean?
DEATH
There's no way out. Special destiny?
(blows raspberry)
All gone, like ice cream. Man, I could go for ice cream.
JEREMY
But, it's destiny! How can it change?
DEATH
They changed it, the dudes. Those dudes were real mad at you, dude.
JEREMY
That's it? After all that talk of how great I am they shove me down here because I hurt the feelings of some old man?
DEATH
Hey, could be worse.
JEREMY
How?
DEATH
You could be in there.
He points to the river.
JEREMY
That's not much comfort. Either I could be a mindless zombie in there, or I could wander around out here for an eternity.
DEATH
Time makes vagabonds of us all. For you, doubly so.
Jeremy walks a few paces and sits down facing away from Death.
JEREMY
I just don't get it, why me? What have I done to deserve this. I just...
(he starts crying)
I just wanted to see her again. It's not fair. Why can't... why can't I just...
He lets it all go, all the pain and all the hopelessness he's been keeping inside. In the background, we can see Death cleaning his ears with his scythe.
Death walks over and sits down next to him.
DEATH
Looks like you're done. You've reached the end. What are you going to do now?
JEREMY
(composing himself)
I don't know.
DEATH
The way I see it, you can either go gracefully, or you can go out kicking and screaming.
JEREMY
Oh, kicking and screaming, definitely.
He laughs, somewhat relieved.
DEATH
For what it's worth,
(he points with his scythe)
I have a pretty good feeling about that direction.
JEREMY
Thanks.
DEATH
Think nothing of it, kerosene.
With a great deal of effort, Jeremy scoops himself up and sets off in the direction Death has indicated.
He walks.
And he walks.
And he walks.
FADE TO BLACK.
